PROFILE.
susanna
Monday, March 22, 2004
haix..think frm now on i really under watch le..cant sms..cant go out aft sch..cant do anything lyk used to le..e nxt thing mayb even banned frm usin e net..haix..how..='(..everything gone jus because i love someone special..is tat wat love is abt?losin everythin?even havin to giv up ur heart?den wat's e point of livin on without a heart?haix..is age really tat much of a matter?dont they trust tat i noe wat i'm doin?dun they noe how i feel?or issit cos they once made a mistake and now i'm payin for it cos they're scared i'll make e same mistake?all e unanswered qns..i dare not ask abt..all along as i grew up i didnt ask much abt wat u wan me to do..i'll obey you in everyway i can..mayb i'm e first kid you hav and duno wats goin on nowadays?i am already considered 'e gd kid'..i dun tok back..i strieve in my best in studies..i try to remain on gd terms wif u and tis is wat i get?true,u compare me wif relatives..e top class sons/daughters..u noe how much hurt it has caused me?all e nites cryin over wat a failure i have become..of how much i hav let u dwn..so i decided tat i cud please you in other ways..in e way i live life..e person u hav brought me up to be..but along e way, smth magical occured..i fell in love..it felt so gd..u say u're scared tat i get hurt..but as they say..hurt is bound to happen..why dont you just let me live thru life?gettin hurt..healin..its all part and parcel of life..you cant prevent tat frm happenin..no matter how hard you try..it'll happen..one day..dont you noe tat u're already e one hurtin me?its makin me hate you even more..everything you do i'll think there's an ulterior motive..haix..nvm..watever i do..you win..i lose..i'll hav to obey ur every command..but rmb smth..i'm not livin life happily..so dun expect me to hav a happy childhood..tis will be imprinted in my head..u've already left a scar behind..no way of clearin it..but i'll recover and come on again..stronger tis time..so watch out.
♥
5:48 PM